Regrets

I used to live my life in such a way that I wouldn't allow myself to have regrets. A few years ago, I let that slip away, and now I have a couple of regrets, that won't get out of my head.

so, I'll write them down here, and then reread this in a year and laugh at myself telling myself how ridiculously stupid I am.

I regret Jim's proposal not being romantic. I was with him when he bought my ring, and then we went to the canal and he proposed. I knew he wanted to marry me, I should have just let him take his time and let it happen on his time, not my own. Every girl wants a romantic proposal, and me, being impatient, I didn't let him do it on his time schedule, and I still get really mad at myself for doing that.

I regret not fighting more, to make my wedding MINE. And not someone else's. There were so many things that I wanted for our wedding that we didn't get. So many things that we backed down on and shouldn't have. I should have fought for the wedding of my dreams, instead, now I look back on my wedding day with bitterness, and hurt.

Don't get me wrong, the day was incredible, and I got to marry the man of my dreams. I wouldn't take anything back about that. But most of it wasn't me. It was me, appeasing someone else. and not getting the wedding of my dreams.

If only I could do it all over again, if only there was a way to not regret the two biggest events in my life. I will make up the mistakes I made with those two things, by trying extra hard to be the best wife I can be. Jim is an incredible man, and I am one lucky lady. Seriously I couldn't any better than him :0)

Blessings

God has blessed me SO much in the last year.

Jim and I found a church we LOVE, and we are enjoying getting to know people in the church. We've been a little slow to get involved, but Jim isn't one to jump in with both feet, so we compromised and we're at a good pace for him, and a much slower than normal pace for me!

I was so close to throwing in the towel less than a year ago. I was trying to be patient, trying to trust God and hear his voice for my life and Jim's, and not push Jim into making a decision that he'd come to regret in our marriage. I wanted so much to have a Christian husband, to have a man I can celebrate God with, a man that I can go to church with every Sunday, and worship my savior with And now I have it, a man who is learning to love God like I do. Jim is incredible. He is my best friend, and I don't use that term lightly, AT ALL. I couldn't imagine my life without him. He's the only person I can see everyday and still find conversations to have. Jim's been everything I dreamed of having in a man since I was a little girl. I'm so thankful for his love in my life.

Jim and I bought our first house on Friday!!! We cannot WAIT to start the process of moving and making it our home. The house is out in Gates, a good half way point between my dad and his parents. Its in spencerport school district. Its a beautiful house and I cannot wait to dive into it. I've been living in an apartment since I was 9 years old. Its going to be wonderful to have a home of our own, and know that I don't need to move for a while. Our real estate agent is incredible.

Jim and I are getting married in just over 5 weeks. Everything is really coming together for us now, and God has really blessed us in these last few months.

To HIM be the glory

New Layout

I love Christmas, I decided it was time for a new layout. So I went in search of a good Christmas layout. but UGH! There are no good CHRISTIAN blog lay outs. I want something that shows my love for God in the holiday season. Not something that says I'm looking for the 'perfect' gift.

Which, by the way I'm not.

Im not going to fall into the commercialization of Christmas this year. So far I have completely avoided it. Whats the point in searching high and low for the 'perfect gift' for someone. Something that will end up in the closet or thrown in the corner by the end of January. I decided this year, I don't want to fall into that. I want christmas to be about the birth of my lord. Besides, I have everything I want. I have incredible friends, and Jim. I have a wedding in a mere 164 days (but who's counting!?!). I couldn't ask for more.

So, instead, this year my friends and I have made a commitment to write each other letters about what our friendship means to us. Its a MUCH more meaningful gift, one that won't get thrown into the back of a closet, one that will not soon be forgotten. Isn't that what Christmas is REALLY about anyways? spending time with the people you love, worshiping our lord, and not falling prey to the perfect gift that is advertised on every commercial during the holiday season.

I can't wait to give my letters to my friends. And to read what they wrote.

It means more this way.