making it-

My friend Damita has often said in bible study... "If you're breathing...whatever situation you feel like you can't overcome..you're making it."

Just needed that little reminder today.

If you're the praying type, can you pray for me, and for some close friends? A handful of my friends are going through some really tough things. Things I can't fix. Things that need to play themselves out. But it doesn't break my heart any less

I know...I know..

I NEVER have time to post anymore. I miss you guys. But i'm still here, and i'm still reading your posts, even if i don't have time to comment. I'm still here, and reading.

But, I have a prayer request, and if you can get this out to as many friends as possible, that'd be awesome.

7 weeks ago my friend Holly had pain in her chest, just below the ribs. The drs thought she needed to have her appendix removed, so they did that. Why?! we have NO idea, the pain was on the opposite side. 3 days after surgery, holly was back in the hospital, the drs couldn't figure out what was wrong, and released her. Valentines day, she was back in again. Again, they couldn't figure out what was wrong and she was released.

Then, last Tuesday night, she was celebrating her one year anniversary with her fiance, and she lost all feeling in her feet. about 20 minutes later that feeling came back, but now she has EXCRUCIATING pain in her feet. If anyone touches her feet, or she has to walk, she looks like she's going to either scream or cry from the pain.

Right after the foot thing, she became very sensitive to light, and had her mother turn all the lights in the house off. In the ambulance ride over to RGH they had to use flashlights because of her sensitivity. She's doing ok with light now that seemed to only last a little while, but the other stuff is still bothering her.

Dr's have no idea whats wrong, they don't know what to do next. As of yesterday, they've been sedating her, and trying to relieve some of the pain she's in.

Please pray for the wisdom of the doctors in this situation. They gotta figure out whats going on with her, so they can figure out how to treat it. Its so hard to see someone who is normally so full of life in so much pain. Especially when you care so much about that person.

Please pray. And leave an encouraging comment. I'll make sure they all get to Holly when I see her next.


Thanks blogland.

JC

Can you pray for my friends brother? JC was just taken to the hospital because he has high blood pressure and bad chest pains, the dr did an EKG, and it didn't come back normal, and they're keeping him overnight and running some more tests.

I don't know any more than that. I'll update if I find anything out.

Emotions

Just about 4 years ago. I was in a really bad place, emotionally. (I won't get into details of what was happening in my life at that time. But those of you who know me, know. And if you don't, ask me personally. I don't want it posted for personal reasons) Instead of dealing with everything and drawing closer to God I pushed him away. I told him I hated him, that I couldn't believe he was doing this to me. Such strong words, that I regret to the deepest core of my being. Words that I will never repeat, but I have so much comfort knowing that God was still there during those times, that there is nothing I could do or say to make him love me any more or less than he does.

After everything happened, and I had walked away from God, I built a nice big stone wall around my heart. And vowed to never let anyone break that wall down. I wasn't going to ever hurt again like I did then. Then, everything came crashing down around me after breaking up with Craig. I needed somewhere to turn, but I had few friends, and no one to lean on. I dove into some not so great friendships, and built some really great ones too. I slowly began to feel again. To be happy sometimes. I stopped wearing all black clothes. I started smiling again. Even though I wasn't in that great of a place.

Then, I met Jim. My life changed that night. I quit smoking, and started dating him a week later. Ever since then its been almost all good things in my life. He's helped me get back to school. He's supported me through family issues. Jim's been an incredible source of strength for me.

But, still, I needed something more. Something was missing. Thanks to Amanda's encouragement, I found God again. It took me a long time to get myself to a point where I could apologize to him, and step back into the light of God, knowing all the mistakes and bad things I had done over the last four years were exposed.

Now, Jim and I have found an incredible Church home. I know I have a long way to go before I'm the Christian I want to be, the person God deserves. Jim and I are learning a lot, growing a lot, and craving more. Its such an incredible feeling.

But, I still find myself struggling with emotions. I have a much easier time expressing anger and frustration than I do joy and acceptance. I find myself blocking feelings of joy. Because sometimes I still find myself afraid of being happy. Because I'm scared of loosing this.

So, the moral of the post. Can you pray for me? I still have a hard time feeling emotions that I want to feel. I've been praying that God will help me feel these things again. Allow me to truly feel happy, and not be so hardened. I want to feel joy. I want to feel sadness. I want to feel everything, good and bad.

God is SO good.

So. So good.

I cannot wait to see everything he has in store for me and for jim.

Jim's grandpa

Jim's grandpa has not been doing well since he had a stroke last year, right before thanksgiving. He's slowly been deteriorating and lately has been talking about death, just about every time we see him. And its not the "I'm ready to go home" its more the "I have nothing to live for anymore" kind of talking. It's really sad to see, and hard for Jim to hear. Jim is going to see him tonight. His cousin told us last night that his grandpa has taken a turn for the worse. He can barely stand or walk anymore. His grandma is smaller than I am, and is not going to be able to take care of him if/when he is released from the hospital.

Pray for his grandpa, for the pain that he is in. Pray for his family in the ability to understand where his grandpa is in his life. He's lived a long life, and he doesn't feel like he has anything to fight for anymore. He's a wonderful man, with a wonderful heart.

I really feel a lot more peace with Jim's grandpa's future than I did when Jim's grandma passed away. Jim's grandpa is the only one in his family who truly has an understanding of God, so thats probably why. But please, pray for his family. I know Jim's having a hard time with it, and just won't say anything. He wants his grandpa at our wedding next year, and its going to be very hard for him if he isn't there.