Once again, I'm back in the same place, Only, going in the other direction. I don't want to let these people out of my life. I want them to a part of me forever. I'm scared of getting hurt, but can I just throw everything Ive gone through, everything I've been supported through away?
My heart is heavy, and my brain is numb. I don't know what to do, and where to go. I wish some one could fix this, and make this all go away, but who knows if it can be fixed, or if its meant to be. I guess I've gotta keep trusting in God, and let him lead me right now, because I don't have the strength to lead myself.
On a more positive note, we can start booking wedding dates for 2009 this coming week. Jim and I are trying to figure out what we want to do, and where we want it to go. I'm a lot hesitant to book a wedding date right now. I feel like we're going to change our minds and want to do something different, but the $500 will lock us into a place we decide we don't want. But, at the same time, I'm anxious to book our wedding date, and be able to say I'm getting married XX/XX/2009!
I dunno, I guess I'll wait on God to give me the answers I need!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
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1 comment:
not to melissa: your wedding happened and you missed it. apparently it was in 2007 lol!
anyways, i was also going to say that i totally feel what you're going through. and there never is an easy answer. life and friendships are hard. they're never perfect... i know that it's probably bad, but i've found to just be numb about something until enough time has passed to deal with it is usually good for me... from a psychological point of view, probably not the best idea, but it sort of works for me... so that's what i do
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