Sigh.

I don't really know. I've got so much on my mind. My heart is breaking, and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. Yet, because I'm pathetic, I'm jealous. Yesterday, my supervisor told us that Jennifer sent Brian to work, and was with her mother. Because she wanted her mommy. And that broke my heart. If I was ever in a situation like Jennifer is in, I don't have a mom. I've got Jim, and some REALLY amazing friends, but there have been plenty of moments where I've wanted my mom, and then felt like I was getting kicked in the chest when seconds later, I realized I don't have one. Its a crazy reality. and hard as heck when I remember she's not there anymore, that Lisa took what little of her was available away from me and my siblings.

I don't understand this life that God has me leading, but I know that he has reason's for me having been through everything I've been through. But sometimes, that doesn't make it easier. Learning how to trust God again is so exciting, and so thrilling, but so hard. But, I can do this. I'm strong, and someday I'll be looking at my own children and realize that I'm the mother I never had, and at least I can make it right that way, because maybe thats my only legacy. And if it is, thats fine by me.

Just pray for me, and for Jennifer, mostly for Jennifer and their family. They need all the strength they can get with whatever they're going through.