Amazed

I'm completely amazed right now. I've never once in my life been all out crying because of something incredible.

Jim and I got in a bit of a fight tonight, because of something he did that I didn't think was appropriate at all. I started crying and saying "I can't do this anymore, I just cant, I need a man who goes to church with me, who knows God like I do, and worships him as much as I do" so jim says to me, so lets do something about that, lets go to that bookstore (alpha and omega) and get me a bible, and then maybe a study we can do together. After a few more minutes of talking about what we wanted to do to fix things in our relationship that were ungodly, we decided to pray together, we pray together regularly, but its usually me praying and jim says amen. But not tonight my friends. Jim prayed too. Tears started rolling down my cheeks when he prayed that he wanted to know God like I do, and he wants to stay on the right path.

When we finished praying, I asked him if I could share one of my favorite worship songs with him. I went down to my car and got the CD, since I couldn't find it on the computer for some reason. I put on "mighty to save". My favorite worship song, at the moment. Being hard of hearing, I've always LOVED watching someone interpret the worship songs, it hits harder to see it in sign language, and hear it. And to me, that's the ultimate form of worship. ( My favorite worship experience, up until tonight was the Michael W. Smith concert right before his first worship album came out in 2001 and I spent two plus hours within 20 feet of Michael W Smith worshiping God. )

So I began signing mighty to save. I looked over at Jim and he was trying to copy sign me. He's been learning sign language, I only needed one look at him before tears filled my eyes, and I felt something so much more incredible than I've ever felt before.

God is truly incredible. Tonight, for the first time ever, I felt like my relationship with Jim was REALLY ok. I wasn't hearing 'patience' anymore.

I cannot wait for tomorrow. Not only is tomorrow my favorite day of the year (seriously! Its better than any other holiday!!) but tomorrow is the day I'm going to alpha and omega with my fiance, to buy him his first christian bible ever.

I'm so relieved now. I can't even tell you the peace that has overcome me. the joy I feel, the excitement to know that we're going to hit the ground running together. Its been so hard for me to be patient in this. But I knew God was working in his heart, I could hear it in his voice when he said amen, in his words when we talked about church, it was just so hard to wait. God knew what he was doing.

I'm in awe of God, I can't even tell you.

He is SO good