Roommates

Having a roommate, especially at my age, is incredibly difficult. I have my routine, I have my schedule, my life already set up. And now I'm adjusting to living with another 1.5 people. the .5 I pretty much can't stand.

He reminds me of my ex. Of a time of my life I'm not particularly proud of, the 4 year path I was on, where I walked further and further away from God. I don't want her to look back on this time in a few years with the burden that I feel having done what I did. I can't make her realize what path she's on, I can't make her walk away from this relationship. Even though I want to grab her and shake the crap out of her and tell her what an idiot he is. And how horrible he really is to her.

I am so overwhelmed with combining my life with hers. Especially since she is family. No matter what happens over this next year, she's Jim's cousin. She'll always be part of both of our lives. I find myself getting angry because she does not fit the mold of my life. I haven't been willing to bend with her, and to be flexible with the use of our things. They're OURS, they've been ours for the last 3 years that we've been together. I don't want to share, I don't want to give up what Jim and I have formed.

The only fights Jim and I have really had are related to this situation. The frustrating and annoyance of it all.

I am the only face of God Kristina has, she doesn't hear about God from anyone else (as far as I know). She's not encouraged to grow, to go to church, to learn. I need to find a way to make this work. A way to show God's grace through my actions. If I continue the way I have been, not only will my relationship with her be ruined as well as Jim's, but any hope of her finding God again may be too.

I miss the old Kristina. Please pray for me, for her, and for our living situation.