ramblings

I have spent a lot of time today thinking about who I am, and the person my friends think I am. I get so frustrated sometimes, because the person I want to be, is not always the voice of reason. Things don't come across as I intend for them to.

I'll hear about something cool that my friend is doing, and get upset that it wasn't me that gets to do that. Why does it matter?!

I have so many wonderful things in my life, things that I wouldn't trade for anything, but why do the things that I cannot control hurt me so much?

I cannot control who didn't show up or tell me they weren't showing up.

I cannot control who thinks I am not good enough, even if I am.

I cannot control if i'm not good enough, in that specific situation.

But, why is it not enough for me tonight to be a child of God. Why do I want more? What does God have in store for me right now? I want to know all God has planned, but I know that He will reveal his plan in time, but its frustrating to feel like I'm not good enough.