The big 3-0

Jimmy,

Happy birthday my love!!

You are the best husband a woman could ask for. I am SO blessed to call you mine. God sure knew what He was doing when we found each other! <3

This past year certainly hasn't been the easiest year, but it has strengthened our bond beyond words. Thank you for being my rock when I am not so strong.

I love watching you grow in your relationship with God, and I love worshiping our Savior with you every Sunday!

I love your sense of humor. You make me laugh all the time, and I love that about you! Laughter is the best medicine after all!

Watching you play with my niece, nephews and Paige melts my heart. You are going to be an incredible father. I can't wait to see you holding our future babies.

Thank you for all you do. I am so blessed to have a husband who provides for our family. You work so hard at work and home to make our home so amazing.

Every time I think I couldn't love you more, I do.

Here's to the next 30 years! I love you!

$2,000

$2,000. That's ALL it costs to plant one church in India. That number baffles my mind. I would be scared to tally up my receipts of all the things I buy that aren't necessary. I would bet my total would build more than one church in India. One of the countries where Christians are persecuted the most.

I have decided I'm going to make some real sacrifices in order to donate more money to CICM, the organization we learned about at CIY two weeks ago.

I am going to give up Lugia's ice cream. Instead, I will be donating the money I would have spent there to CICM. I am going to look for other ways to make sacrifices too.

We have so much here in the U.S. everything is at our disposal. And its so easy to take that for granted. I don't want to take it for granted anymore. I may never make a mission trip to India to see the persecution firsthand...but I can make sacrifices so those who are called to live in India can reach more people for Jesus.

2 of our kids at CIY made commitments to raise $2,000 each so that CICM can plant two churches in India. If you have cans/bottles to donate to their fundraising, please let me know. I will find a way to get the cans/bottles from you and to them! There will also be some more fundraising in the near future. I know there are fundraisers for everything. But what better reason to raise money than to be able to bring one more person to Christ.

EAT THE BOOK

At CIY one of the pastors preached on "eating the book". It was such a powerful message. Maybe because that's the night he grilled steak on stage ;) or maybe because of the power of the Holy Spirit in the room that night.

There are Several places in the bible where each person is told to physically eat scripture. Check out Ezekiel Chapter 2 and 3; Revelation 10:8-10, Jeremiah 15:16.

Though in two of the examples they physically ate the scrolls, the meaning is meant to be symbolic. If we devour God's word, something changes inside of us. His words are sweet on our lips, but if we were to eat it, our stomachs would turn sour.

When Josiah devoured scripture he ripped his cloths because the word of God penetrated him from the inside out. He realized what a sinner he was, and how incredible God is. Josiah spent his reign trying to change Israel, rebuilding the temples, and trying to change the future of Israel by freeing her from the sin of his father and grandfather.

When we devour scripture, our world changes. We can't help but become more like Christ. Eating the book doesn't always feel good, but the Word won't transform your life until you dig into it. Sometimes we don't think we are ready to be kingdom workers or culture changes, but God can place us in a situation to be something bigger for Him.

The session neared an end with the teens standing up and shouting out verses. Sometimes there were 3+ teens screaming out their favorite verses at the same time. Sitting there, listening to the kids, gave me goosebumps. But the session ended on a much more powerful note. One I cannot explain. There was not a dry eye in our youth group by the end of that session. And one by one our kids came up to us, telling us what they were struggling with, so we could pray with them, and give them some bible verses to deal with their pain. We were able to show the kids firsthand what eating the book could do, the strength we can draw from Him.

EAT THE BOOK!!

Love Costs Everything

One morning at CIY we watched a Video titled "Love Costs Everything." CIY is working on a theater release for the movie. Please pray they are able to get the theater release. More people need to see this movie than just high school kids and adult sponsors who have attended MOVE this year. Its such a huge part of who we should be supporting as Christians, and those we forget so easily about during our prayer time.

I've known most of my teen/adult years about persecution of the Christian church in other countries, but before watching the video, I didn't understand the magnitude of what those people go through to bring Honor and Glory to God. Their lives are a living sacrifice to Jesus. Its amazing to see how much these people love Jesus and live for Him no matter what their peers may do to them.

The film was a documentary showing different groups of people in different countries. They shared stories of their families being murdered, being beaten in the streets, having to leave their families as teenagers in order to follow God's call on their lives, being in their church when it is bombed, etc. Each person at the end of the movie said they were not victims, but victors for Jesus. What an incredible image. They were being beaten, losing people they loved, and yet they still stand for Christ. While we complain to God about such trivial things.

If you want- watch this clip. It's really intense, I probably wouldn't watch it with young kids around.

http://2011.ciy.com/move/lovecostseverything

CIY

CIY Move 2011 was INCREDIBLE. I cannot put everything that happened into words, but I will try.

The theme this year was "something bigger." We talked about how God has something bigger planned for each of us. We followed the stories of Samuel, Rahab, Josiah, Shadrach/ Mishach/ Abedengo, and John. Learning how God had something bigger for each of their lives than what they could see in the midst of the storm.

God did a lot of indescribable things in our youth group this week. Youth group time at CIY last year lasted 30-40 min IF THAT this year we talked for upwards of 2.5hrs one night. We heard story after story of how much the kids were hurting. I was constantly amazed that with 21 kids their stories were so different- yet so similar. They were hurting to the depths of their souls, and couldn't rise above that pain on their own. No matter what trials they were facing, they realized God had something bigger in store for their lives.

It is my prayer that each of the kids walked away a changed young man or woman.

I'm praying that you remember:

~ its not what you don't know, its what you do know about God that will make the difference. ~ God has called each of us differently, and wherever God places you, shine for His kingdom.

~ Remember when life sucks, to eat the book.

~ Not to put anything into the world, to put it all into God, and take everything from his word. ~ Remember you gave your scarlet cord to God, that he will take care of whatever that cord meant to you.

Infertility

For some reason this didn't post like it was supposed to- So i'm posting it now- a little late

As you all know from my previous post- We have been dealing with infertility for approximately 18 months. We found out we we pregnant in early April, and we were due Dec 21, 2011, but we lost our angel on May 3rd, 2011.

Infertility is a journey I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It is physically and emotionally taxing, and so many people don't understand the path you are on. They say things like "It'll happen when its meant to," "My friend dealt with that and she now has 2 teenage boys," or my favorite "If you only relax it'll happen."

We KNOW it'll happen when its meant to but after , I'm REALLY sorry your friend went through infertility. But, if you can teach me how to relax with 3-4 doctors appointments per month, 3+ blood tests, 1-3 ultrasounds, medications you take on certain days, OPT tests every afternoon, BMT charts in the morning, diet changes...etc. Infertility is a medical condition, just relaxing won't help anyone get pregnant who has been trying for over a year. We are facing ovulatory infertility. A problem only on my end. My body doesn't do what it is supposed to.

I've read several christian books on infertility and miscarriage in the last few months. They are all immensely helpful.

This one, however was the book that helped me work through my emotions the best. Jim and I got it from the library.

http://www.christianbook.com/what-lost-christian-journey-through-miscarriage/elise-barrett/9780664235208/pd/235208

What was lost- by Elise Barrett. Elise and her husband had three miscarriages. All three about the same gestation as mine. She knew the pain first hand, and chose to write a book about it that both honored and glorified God through her pain. I am so heartbroken that others know this pain so well, but so thankful that they have written about it, and chosen to reach out to others through their pain.

I learned a lot through that book, and was able to sort through a lot of the things I've been feeling. The thing that definitely affected me most, was when she said that emotionally, the loss you feel is the same weather at 5 weeks or 40 weeks. Jim and I were almost 8 weeks along when we found out our baby had died before she ever lived..at least on earth. Before reading that, I felt so lost. I thought often that I was "only" 8 weeks along, so it shouldn't hurt so much. But it did hurt, Every breath was a reminder that the baby inside me was no longer alive. Every pregnancy craving I had suddenly felt extraordinarily unfair. Why was I still craving food that I craved when my baby was alive? And then when the cravings stopped, they were another reminder of our loss. And of course, there were the physical reminders of our loss. Everything reminds me of my baby. The cloths we bought together, the What to Expect When You're Expecting on my nightstand, The Expectant Father on Jim's, the willow tree figure he bought me, the ultrasound picture in its frame on my dresser. All things that are a constant reminder of our baby, but neither of us can bear to put it away.

Right now the pain is feels so raw I could reach out and touch it. But its a pain I wouldn't give up for anything. I will never forget our baby girl. Our first child. Our first angel.

CIY =)

I cannot wait! We are off to CIY in the morning! Me, Danielle, John, Owen, 13 high school girls, and 11 high school boys in Michigan learning more about God and praising Him with every breath. What could be better? Oh yeah! if Jim was going! I'll miss my love like crazy, but I'm so thankful for the opportunity to spend another week with my girls!

I keep getting asked when I'm going to post our Jamaica pictures- I'm sorry I haven't had time yet, I only had 6 days home before leaving again. In the last week I've had 5 photo shoots- and my clients are far more important than my personal pictures! I'll be home for a week or so between CIY and my next big adventure, so hopefully I'll have time then!

The trip was everything we needed and more =) I love the moments that I fall in love with my husband all over again. And weeks full of those moments are so welcome! Sandals is an amazing place to vacation if you ever want to do something crazy like we did! We spent a lot of time in the sun, talking, healing, and reconnecting. We both still miss Robin more than anyone could know, but we are so thankful to have known her, even for such a short time. I have the greatest husband, and the best friends. Thank you all for your continued prayers. And I love all the cards you guys have sent. They mean SO much to know you are still praying for us =)

I'll leave you with a couple pictures- First- a before and after- they are not edited, our whiteness may cause blindness :P - the settings on my camera were all exactly the same(the lighting outside was different though)

A gorgeous flower. The flowers in Jamaica were absolutely incredible. I think I took more floral pictures than I did anything else. Jim and I keep joking we are going to do a mission trip to Jamaica so we can go back. Jamaican's need God too, right? :)

I can't wait for my next adventure to meet a precious little baby girl that I get to call my niece, Ruby!! <3

Robin Elizabeth Siena

I will never forget the morning Jim and I found out we were expecting our first baby, after 15 months of trying, and 6 rounds of fertility treatments. I could not have been happier to see "pregnant" on the pregnancy test. I don't think the smile left my face or Jim's the entire day.

We were so excited we immediately told our immediate family, and a few friends. But we were going to wait until after our first trimester to tell the rest of our friends and family.

At our first ultrasound we were told I was 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant, and due December 21, 2011. We were going to have a Christmas baby! Our baby was going to be born in time enough for her Uncle Adam and Aunt Sara to hold her before they moved to Florida. But our doctor was concerned that he couldn't see a heartbeat yet, but thought it might be too early, so we scheduled our next ultrasound for 1 week later. Through that week Jim and I talked a lot about our hopes and dreams for our angel, what we thought she would look like, what we thought her personality would be. Little did we know she was already gone. Already resting in the arms of Jesus.

At 6 weeks 6 days we were told our baby never had a heartbeat. We had been expecting the news, but were hoping God would give us a miracle. It was so heartbreaking, Jim and I have never cried harder in our lives. Nor have either of us ever clung to the truth of the bible more. God has never felt more real to me than he did on May 3, 2011.

Later in the day when Jim and I were tired of crying, tired of talking about what to do next so we went to the garden store and bought a magnolia tree. By far my favorite tree, because even though it only buds a few weeks a year, the flowers are beautiful. And the tree would bud around the time our precious Robin lived and died.

Jim and I named her Robin, after a character on How I met your mother. When we got our second ultrasound Jim made a comment that she was "sparkling" so we named her Robin- after Robin Sparkles. Kinda silly, but it made us feel better to give her a name. She may have never lived on this earth, never had a heart beat, but it doesn't make her any less real to either of us. We will always love and cherish our baby girl. And we cannot wait to hold her in Heaven.

Elizabeth is after a friend of mine, and Jim and I had been planning for almost 2 yrs to use it as our first daughter's middle name. A friend who taught me so much. A friend who showed me how real God is, and how much He loves me. A friendship I will forever cherish and miss, and always think of when I think of our angel.

Jim and I will never forget our baby girl. While our hearts are still broken, we are so thankful for those who have rallied around us. We have received so many hugs, emails, texts, facebook messages, dinners, and cards from people we love dearly. Thank you all, for all you have done. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to know that we have so many people who love us and are praying for us through this extraordinarily difficult time in our life.

Jim and I are getting away for a week. Heading on a much needed vacation, to spend time together, to regroup and grieve before we start this process over again.

**disclaimer ** A friend is staying at our house the week we are gone- so don't try anything stupid.

Compass Care

I know there are so many walks etc to support wonderful causes this time of the year. Please consider supporting jim and I as we walk for life tomorrow morning.

This is a cause near and dear to our hearts, especially after loosing our baby. Compasscare is a pregnancy service, similar to planned parenthood, but so different in how they handle it. They encourage women to have their babies, and either keep them, or give them up for adoption, they give them clarity in their choices and strength to make the decisions. 85% of women who walk through their doors don't have an abortion. 85% of women chose life for their baby. I wish we had been given the option to choose life. So, please, support Jim and I tomorrow as we walk for an organization that gives babies a chance at life, a chance our little angel didn't have.

No donation is too small. $5 would be awesome.

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/melissasiena/compasscare2011visionwalkandfamilyfestival?fge=ask

Serving

I have been thinking a lot about serving lately. I definitely think that I serve a lot inside our church family, but I don't serve a lot outside of the church. Its something I need to do more of.

After all the bible calls us to serve each other

Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” ~ Luke 6:38

The bible calls on us to support others in their times of need

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ~ Philippians 2:4

The bible calls us to love each other and Him

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. ~ John 13:34-35

The bible calls us to forgive each other

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times ~Matthew 18:21-22

The bible doesn't tell us that these things only need to happen within your church family. We need to be serving others in our community. Our friends, our families, our neighbors. We need to be better servants of God.

Lord, Help me to serve others, and let your light shine in my life above all else.

Smile more

You have probably heard about the positive effects dark chocolate has on the brain, triggering things that make a person happier, a bit like being in love... and I think many people enjoy that part of eating chocolate as well as the lovely flavor and the healthy phytonutrients.

but DID YOU KNOW (because I sure didn't) that research shows that one big genuine heartfelt smile actually triggers as much brain stimulation as 2000 chocolate bars? the same research shows that that smile is more positive stimulation than receiving a LOT of money would be.

Many of us have problems in life, of course, and many have habits of eating to dull the pain of life. We need to remember to SMILE MORE. It's healthier in every way, and unlike eating actually contributes to solving the problems, not making them worse.

It's clear from brain research that smiling actually makes you happier. It's not just a result of being happy, it's a cause too. what a nice cycle!

And smiles are just as contagious as yawns. When people see a genuine smile they are inclined to smile themselves, which improves their moods.

Think how much nicer the world would be if even 20% more of the people you encounter are feeling great at the time!

Only 30% of the population smiles more than 20 times a day. Holy cow! That seems very low to me. and the poor other 70%... how could life be so dim that they smile LESS than 20 times a day? small children smile about 400 times a day, which is why being around them makes YOU smile so much. be like those kids. smile at everyone!

The article in Forbes I took this stuff from says "Smiling has documented therapeutic effects, and has been associated with: reduced stress hormone levels (like cortisol, adrenaline, and dopamine), increased health and mood enhancing hormone levels (like endorphins), and lowered blood pressure.

"If that’s not enough, smiling also makes us look good in the eyes of others. A recent Penn State University study confirmed that when we smile we not only appear more likeable and courteous, but we’re actually perceived to be more competent."

~ From Forbes ~

Thankful

In the midst of this craziness, I need to be more thankful. Thankful for all we have, instead of all we are missing.

So- without further ado, some things I am thankful for:

Jim- Of course. He is my biggest support system, my best friend, my husband. I am in constant awe of all God is doing in his life, and in ours. I am so blessed to have a husband who strives constantly for a closer relationship with our Savior.

My family- I seriously couldn't have a better family. My dad, grandma, brothers, sister, sister in law, nephews and niece are amazing. I'm so glad to have such great relationships with all of them. And seeing all of us happy, for the first time in YEARS, is awesome.

Tuesdays and Thursdays with Paige- That little girl is absolutely amazing. I adore her, and hanging out with her. There is nothing like a hug, smile, or laugh from an innocent child to make a bad day better.

My friends- I have some amazing friends. I'm not biased. They really are something special. I am blessed with so many close friends, friends who build me up, and strengthen me, and my relationship with God.


My church- I strive constantly to be closer to God, and more like Jesus. I am so thankful that I have a church family that is so supportive, so loving, and so special. My church is different from any church I've ever belonged to. And I absolutely love it. I love all of them.

New appliances. Jim and I used our tax return and bought a new fridge, stove and dishwasher last weekend(we got crazy good deals at sears! The $$ we saved on the fridge and stove, bought us the dishwasher we weren't planning to get for a while!). They have been installed since Monday. And we absolutely love them. The white brightens up our kitchen a ton, and its nice to have the ice maker/water dispenser in the fridge instead of a huge Britta pitcher in the fridge. Its cool to have things that aren't from the early 1980's. We were able to sell all of our old appliances in one day!

And mostly I am so thankful for the promises in the bible. The following verses have been my mantra lately. Reminding me that no matter what, I am loved. And that God is always here, always loving, always supporting.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Thank you God, for your amazing promises.

The weaver

I just found this poem, and its awesome, so I thought I would let you guys read it :)



The Weaver
My Life is but a weaving
between my Lord and me;
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow
And I, in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper,
And I the under side.

Not til the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful
In the Weaver's skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

He knows, He loves, He cares,
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
Who leave the choice with Him.

Author Unknown

True Love

Six years ago I was in a very controlling relationship. I didn't have friends outside of his. I barely talked to my family. I couldn't go out, even if I wanted to unless I was with him and/or his brother. I went to work, and then I came home and watched TV. I was completely and utterly alone. I thought I would have no choice but to settle for him, because I had nothing outside of our relationship. Six years ago, on valentines day, he was angry about a test he had taken at school. He threw a remote at me..hitting my leg and leaving a bruise. I was devastated. I knew he had anger issues, but I never thought I would physically be at the other side of that.

Six years later, I have fallen so deeply in love with my God. I have surrendered my life, and my will to be in line with His. And my amazing husband has done the same. Jim and I have found a wonderful church to be a part of. Together we are building the foundational years of our marriage in Christ. Learning so much about God, and each other.

God really picked me up from the bottom of the cliff, and helped me rebuild my life, stone by stone. Though the last six years have not been without pain, suffering, heartaches and tears..I am thankful for it all! I have been blessed more than I deserve.

Thank you God for all you have given me. For loving me even though I walked away when times got tough. Thank you for strengthening me, and bringing me to this place where I can love, serve and lead others to your arms. The way Amanda led me back home, five years wonderful years ago.

Thankful

I just had an absolutely wonderful weekend, after a week that could have been better in about 1,000 ways.



My brother and niece came from CT for my aunt's birthday party Friday night. It was a wonderful time, although exhausting. It baffles me that I used to have that much energy! And I'm quite energetic now!



My niece is a little firecracker! She's 4 years old, going on 20. She's the boss, and she thinks she knows everything. God help her parents when she's actually a teenager! ;)



My grandma just turned 86 in November. Her life is an inspiration. No matter how much pain she's in, or how bad life seems, she tries to keep herself moving as much as possible. I hope to be just like her when I'm her age =)



My dad has been gone a month, to florida. Its great to have him back home! My niece adores her papa gary. So sweet =)


Here's one of Jim and I with our niece. She's gorgeous isn't she?




Uncle Adam and Aunt Sara got to spend most of their weekend with them, since they stayed at their house.

Peter

Anyone who has spent an extended amount of time in the Christian church, knows about peter's betrayal. Here's the verses from Mark 14:26-31:

26 And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. 27 And Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away, for it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ 28 But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.” 29 Peter said to him, “Even though they all fall away, I will not.” 30 And Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times.” 31 But he said emphatically, “If I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And they all said the same.

And here are the verses- later on in chapter 14, where Jesus' prophecy came true.

66 And as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came, 67 and seeing Peter warming himself, she looked at him and said, “You also were with the Nazarene, Jesus.” 68 But he denied it, saying, “I neither know nor understand what you mean.” And he went out into the gateway [8] and the rooster crowed. [9] 69 And the servant girl saw him and began again to say to the bystanders, “This man is one of them.” 70 But again he denied it. And after a little while the bystanders again said to Peter, “Certainly you are one of them, for you are a Galilean.” 71 But he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, “I do not know this man of whom you speak.” 72 And immediately the rooster crowed a second time. And Peter remembered how Jesus had said to him, “Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times.” And he broke down and wept.


I cannot imagine the pain Peter must have been feeling, watching his friend's crucifixion. It must have been pure torture to see his friend suffering so much, and not being able to do anything about it. I know when my friends suffer now, it hurts me to the core, but what they are dealing with is NOTHING like what Jesus endured that day.

Peter denied knowing one of his best friends three times that day, but, unlike any of the other disciples, he was there. Now, I can't say that what Peter did was right, by any means. The bible tells us that if we deny Him among our peers, He will deny us before his father. Peter spent the rest of his life trying to make up for what he did. But when all of Jesus' other disciples withdrew and hid from public eye, Peter was there, watching and hurting right along with Jesus.

Someday- I will get to meet Peter- and talk to him. I will ask how he must have felt that day. Why he said what he said, and most of all, what he would do if he could relive that day. Does he wish he had died for his faith in Jesus? Would he have done exactly what he did, knowing he was able be forgiven of his sin and minister to a lot of people for the rest of his life? Was it worth it?

No one has ever mentioned in a sermon that Peter was the only disciple there that day. I did some research and there doesn't seem to be any evidence that any of the others were there. He may have denied his savior, but he was there. Watching from a distance. He had a view of Jesus' love and sacrifice, few believers ever have had, or will have. I think there's something to be said about Peter being there, don't you?

Facing the Giants

Jim and I watched "Facing the Giants" tonight. The movie hit me pretty hard, as well as some other things that have popped up for me in my devotional reading, bible studies, etc in the past week. I guess God's trying to tell me something.

NOTHING is impossible with God. I just need a little more faith to make it through some days. With all the horrible things happening around me, some to my friends, some to my family, and some to my own life, its hard some days not to loose sight of what's important. God. Because nothing is impossible with Him.

We all face giants in our life. There will always be mountains, or stone walls in front of us that we don't know if we have the strength to overcome, but we do. Because with God, all things are possible.

Thank you God, for this wall I WILL overcome. Thank you for the knowledge that I have by going through this circumstance. Help my friends overcome what they are facing, and come out stronger. And help us all to draw closer to you, through all of this.

No matter what happens, no matter what your decisions for Jim and I, we will love you. Now and always.

Away

I would like to go here




and then here




who wants to go with me?? :P

Drained

Spiritually, and emotionally I've been feeling quite drained lately, and I hate it.

I was listening to K-love the other morning after picking Paige up, and the host was talking about how we often go to the phone before we go to the throne. And that's really been on my heart. When something happens, I tend to go straight to my phone to text one of my friends to pray, but I don't stop and take the time to pray myself first.

A handful of friends are dealing with some really tough stuff. Things that I have been storming the gates of heaven with in prayer. But its so much easier some days to say "hey- can you pray for ----?" instead of praying myself, and really pouring my heart out to God. I keep looking for some resolution in these things- and nothing has come yet. I know God is doing something, He never leaves us hanging. Its just hard when its so many different situations, and so many friends who are hurting.

I need to find a book that will help me refocus on God. Something that will give me the strength I feel like I'm missing right now.

Any suggestions?

making it-

My friend Damita has often said in bible study... "If you're breathing...whatever situation you feel like you can't overcome..you're making it."

Just needed that little reminder today.

If you're the praying type, can you pray for me, and for some close friends? A handful of my friends are going through some really tough things. Things I can't fix. Things that need to play themselves out. But it doesn't break my heart any less