Day 5 -- Endurance

The last day of the conference, was about endurance. How we need to endure when we get home, and the things we can do to continue enduring even when life throws us for a loop.

~Something in our lives will probably hurt when we get home. But endure through the pain. Focus on God and take one more step forward even when you feel like collapsing.

~ To know God is to know life.

~ It is going to be hard going back to school, work, and our family. But God is here, with Him we can endure anything.

~ Make sure your life matters, In all you do Honor God

~ Endure- Take one more step, no matter what happens. God knows how hard life can be. When you feel like running away, just take one more step towards Him. Be like Jesus. One step at a time. The faster you run, the easier it is to fall. Keep a slow and steady pace and focus on the One that matters.

~ what motivates us to endure?
1) fear - Romans 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.
2) Reward - Phillipians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
3) Love - John 15:9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.

Love in the bible is a command, not a feeling.

we were given a similar diagram at the conference. I remade it super quick on my computer..so its not that great. But you can get the point. God loved us enough to send his only son Jesus to earth. Jesus loved you and I so much that he gave His life so we could experience eternity in Heaven. In return we need to Love others like God has loved them. And hopefully because of our endurance, and our influence, we will lead others to our Savior.

Amazing to think that little old me has the potential to help people I love fall in love with my Savior. And if I don't model my life after Jesus, I also have the potential of driving people away from God. What a humbling thought.

Code Red - An ER Christmas

I haven't been on the computer too much lately. Lots of things have happened since I last posted.

The biggest being my third surgery for tendinitis. I had surgery the week before thanksgiving. I went to the doctor Monday with the intention of scheduling surgery for January sometime, and they told me they could get me in that Friday. So I jumped on the chance to hopefully be feeling better. To hopefully have my life back sooner rather than later. Well, we're about a month out from surgery. And I'm not feeling all that much better, most of the time at least.




But, something incredible has happened too. I was given the opportunity to do something that I have never done before. I was in a musical at my church. Even more than that, I was the lead role in the musical. It was by far the most amazing thing I have ever done!

It is amazing to know that one of the lines we said, or one of the songs we sang could have reached someone for our Savior. I'm not very outspoken about my beliefs. Everyone knows God is a big part of my life, but I'd rather live by example than by words. I want my friends to see the difference in my life. To see how uplifted and how much has changed in my heart in the last year. But this was an awesome way to show how much He means to me, in a very public way.

That's a picture of me, mid sentence during one of my monologues.

A little synopsis of the play, for those of you who weren't able to come :)

The story is set on Christmas eve. My character in the musical, Jenny, is not a Christian. Jenny had gone to Church with her 4 best friends before, but never really understood what Jesus did for her. Jenny never felt like she fit in at their churches. (A feeling I understand all too well. But, we'll save that for another post) Jenny calls her friends to see if they can go to the mall, but they were all busy with church things. So, I go to the mall by myself, (shopped a little...got Ice Cream and the food court..oops, you didn't wanna hear all of my monologues did you?.) and upon leaving the mall, I slipped and fell on the ice, and hurt my arm.

My friends found out I was in the hospital, and raced to be by my side. There are lots of laughs, lots of hugs, and a few tears while my friends wait impatiently to find me. They realized that even though I may not die today, I was going to die someday. And I wasn't a Christian. They convinced another patient to switch numbers with them so they can get to me faster only to find out I had already been discharged.

Sheri*aka Nikki*, Me *aka Jenny*, Sarah *aka Pepper*, Danielle *Aka Carley* and back Ron *aka John* (and Patrick sticking his head into the picture..haha)

When I found out that they were there I went back to the hospital, to tell them that I'm OK, it was just a sprained wrist. My friends decided they couldn't wait to tell me about Jesus, their best friend.

They told me about their best gift, how much He meant to them. They told me that He gives us hope for now, and Heaven for later. But best of all they told me what Jesus meant to them. Thats what made the difference. (Yeah...that's another piece of a monologue!)

The musical ends with me telling the audience how my friends changed my life, how an accident that turned my life upside down on Christmas Eve, ended in an incredible away. Jenny became a Christian that night.


It was an amazing feeling to walk off stage each night, hoping that someone's life was changed by the words we spoke. I'm not gonna lie, it was a little scary to have that opportunity too. But God is so much bigger than me, and I am so glad that I had the strength to get out there and do this, for Him.



And, I have a fan now. Isn't he adorable?! His dad sang the solo in the musical, and his mom was in charge of the background music for the show, so he was there with us every night. Saturday night when his Dad asked him to pray for the musical at dinner time. Brandon prayed that I wouldn't have to go to the hospital again that night. And he was always SO excited to talk to me after the show. So I had to get a picture of him and I together :) He was so excited about it!



**Thank you to everyone who came out to see it. It was wonderful to be surrounded by so many friends doing this. I love you guys!!**

Wow

Chris (my pastor) said something that has really stuck with me this week, something I keep meaning to blog about, but my wrist hasn't had a great week so I haven't been online much.

He was speaking in his sermon about an elderly blind man, who told someone that it was worth it to have been blind his entire life, because the first face he will ever see is the face of his savior. Wow. What an incredible thought! I had never thought of it that way.

The first time I hear, REALLY hear, I will be hearing the voice of my Savior. What could be cooler than that? Or make all the struggles I had growing up 1/2 deaf and 1/2 hearing worthwhile.

Its an awe inspiring thought. One that has really helped me a lot with being ok with being deaf. I wonder sometimes If I've ever really accepted the fact that I AM deaf. And that God made me this way for a reason! Its hard to be different everyday. Its hard to want so much to fit in to every situation, and to know that I don't. But, I am who God made me to be. And someday I will hear my saviors voice, and that makes it all ok.

The last couple of weeks

I know, I've been a bad blogger again. Sorry about that. I think most of you are friends with me on facebook, and so you know what's been going on.

I had a cortisone shot September 30th, which has basically made my arm useless and in an extraordinary amount of pain since. It hasn't really been much fun for me to sit home, and not be earning any income. I want to go back to work, and hang out with my work girls everyday. Especially now that my arm is feeling somewhat better. But, I know that wouldn't be a good option for me yet. So, I'm waiting, and trying to be patient, and let my arm heal before I start using it too much again. I'm probably going to need surgery again, I'll find out when I go back November 16th, and we'll go from there.

Can you pray for me?

More specifically, pray for two potential situations.

The first option being when I go to the doctors on Nov 16th, that they're able to schedule surgery right away, so my arm is healed by the Christmas musical. That's right folks. I'm in a Musical. The lead role at that! I'm SUPER excited for this opportunity, but also very nervous with my arm being what it is right now.

And the second option being that when I go back, if they can't schedule my surgery right away I can schedule it for the week of or after Christmas (after the musical) so that I can still act in the musical without my arm being *as* much of a problem for the performance. I really want this role, I am so honored to have been chosen for it, and I think it will be a wonderful memory of my first year of marriage with Jim. :0) He's in it too!! He'll be singing all the songs, and have a couple non-speaking roles. :0)

I don't know what God has in store for me, I'm trying to take it one day at a time, but anyone who knows me, knows I'm not good at being patient. But, I know God knows what is best for me. and with Him by my side I can conquer all.

Also, If your reading this, and wanna come over for lunch, or walk around the mall with me one day, that'd be awesome. I hate being trapped at home, and I really miss my girls at work, and being surrounded by people all day long. We don't have money to spend, so I can't go to lunch or anything, but I'd love to hang out, or do a picnic lunch! :)

Testimony

I decided I was due for a positive post for once. :0)

So, what could be more positive than telling you about my Savior and how I came to know Him?

one of the few things my mother did *right* was taking us to church every Sunday. For many years of my childhood we did not have a car, so we would either walk to the nearest church, or catch rides with random friends of my mothers. We also went to church on Dad weekends, so we had a lot of exposure to a lot of different denominations, I learned a lot about God during that time, getting so much from every angle, but I never really felt that God was calling to me, or that He was a REAL presence at any of those places.

The first time I ever remember "feeling" God's presence in my life was at Niagara '97, a youth for Christ conference in Niagara Falls, NY. I learned a lot about God when I was there, but going back to a church where I didn't really feel God's presence, and not having anyone there to challenge me, it felt so routine, it didn't feel like I was going anywhere. I fell back into my old routines fairly quickly, and never really felt challenged at the church we were attending.

I stopped going to that church during the end of my senior year in high school. Really, because my mother was kicked out of it, and I didn't have ride anymore, and I didn't want to continue going there any longer. Thus, began my downfall away from my savior.

Right around that time, my mother decided she no longer wanted to be my mother, and walked out on me, and my brother, I blamed God, how could a God who loved me so much let this happen? I fell further and further into a pit. I blatantly tried to take my life as far away from God as I could, though, He never let go of me. There is so much comfort in knowing He never let me go during that awful time in my life. I started going to bars, doing things that are completely uncharacteristic of me, and even smoked for a few years. It has taken me years to realize that God could do His will DESPITE the decisions I had made, and that only He could make good out of the bad in my life.

I met Amanda working at ADT ((ADT Free is the way to be!!)) after I left we became very fast friends and she and I began talking about God, and I went to her church for a while, but never really felt at "home" there. I decided to "find" another church, but we never really made much effort to go looking for one.

Ramon invited us to the Harvest Banquet at Anchor Christian Church. Jim and I LOVE thanksgiving food, so we went! The people we sat with, I have no idea what their names are((I SUCK with names..lol) but they were talking to us about how they found Anchor, and what they thought of it. They had only been going for about a month at that point. And the husband was saying that he was raised catholic, but he really liked Anchor because of the traditions they keep. The next week we started going to Anchor. I guess it needed to be Jim's idea, not my own.

We stopped going for a few months in between there, and then this happened, and we went back the next week, and that week made the commitment to start going to church their regularly, and begin bible studies with Chris so Jim could take the steps for salvation. We have been going every week since! :0) I love my church, and I love what I have learned through going there.

It is so good to be back in the arms of my Savior. Back where I should be, growing, learning, and understanding in a way I never have before. In some part, I am glad for my time away, I learned a lot about the world, and about what I was doing wrong as a christian. But I am ever so thankful for Jesus' death on the cross, to save MY sins. I know that God will turn the bad things that I did into great things, in His timing. I am growing so much in my relationship with our Lord, and I look forward to what the future holds for both Jim and I.

gratituesday

My new friend Sara is a part of this every week, and I love reading her entries every Tuesday, so I thought I'd get in on the fun this week.



I am so thankful for my incredible husband, and all that he brings to my life. Two months ago we pledged our lives to each other, and we're finally settling into that new life. Jim is an incredible man, and I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him. I love watching him grow in his relationship with God, and to see the light in his eyes when he makes a connection to something said in Church. It is my prayer that we continue to grow in God together.



I am thankful for the friends who have supported me these past couple of months. It was a much harder transition than I expected, but one that I wouldn't give up for anything, I learned a lot about myself, some things I'm changing, but some that are incredible.


Most of all I am thankful for my new church, Anchor Christian church and all that it has brought into my life. My new friends at church have encouraged me in my walk with God more than anyone else, and shown me Christ's love in so many ways.