Growing up

There is a lot to be said about hearing parents with deaf children. A lot of decisions to be made, I was just reading a post by a blogging friend, about her deaf son. And I thought i'd write my perspective out on the subject.

It was HARD for me being the deaf child in a hearing school district. I cannot tell you how many times I hated my parents for putting me in a hearing school, how many times I went to Rochester School for the Deaf for audiology appointments and saw the kids signing to each other, wishing that I was one of them. I hated speech therapy, I hated my Hearing Impaired class( it was the 80's calling people hearing impaired was not politically incorrect yet..lol) that met after school everyday. I wanted so much to be "normal" to not have my hearing aids stick out like a sore thumb.

It was a wonderful program, and I am still friends with a lot of people from there, but it was never easy. I was picked on for being the deaf girl, even though there were 3 other deaf people in my grade. I was laughed at for misunderstanding what people said, or for answering a completely different question than the one that was asked. It was very embarrassing, and it still is. People think that because I CAN hear, because I CAN talk as well as I do, that I am hearing. But I'm not, and that's ok.

It was never easy to miss things, to know there were things being said I wasn't hearing, and to be around people who didn't understand enough to repeat themselves for my sake. Once in a while my husband or a friend will say something that I don't understand, because of the social learning aspect of childhood that I missed. Its probably not always a bad thing that I missed some of those things, most of what I missed were the dirty jokes, or the phrases that I wouldn't have ever said anyways.

The things I went through at school, are nothing compared to what deaf people go through when they face the hearing world. If Jim and I happen to have a deaf/hard of hearing child, our child will be mainstreamed, but in a school district (hopefully) with other deaf children, so they have the opportunities I had in elementary school. I will forever be an advocate of mainstreaming deaf children, I don't think deaf schools provide them with the opportunities they need in life beyond school. We only attend school for 1/3-1/4 of our lives, it doesn't have to be the most pleasant experience. In fact most hearing people I know say they wouldn't go back to school if their lives depended on it.

As parents we are called to love our children, and to raise them so they will be self-sufficient adults, so you have to do what is best for your children in the long run, not what is best for them in the immediate future. Its probably not the easiest thing in the world for a parent. In fact, my heart breaks hearing my sister in law talk about the things my nephew is dealing with in school. But Her and my brother are doing what is best for him, and they know that, as hard as it is now. I have so much respect for both of them for doing what they are for their little ones. And my nephew is going to be an amazing adult, because he is already an amazing child :)


“The problem is not that the (deaf) students do not hear. The problem is that the hearing world does not listen. “- Rev Jesse L. Jackson ( American Civil Rights Activist, Minister)