Infertility in the bible

There are 8 stories of infertility in the bible. I cannot tell you how much comfort that gives me on bad days. For a while I was made to feel like our struggles with infertility should have been kept silent. I was told that by telling anyone at all, I was allowing it to be a part of my life. I was made to feel horrible about how much I want to be a mom. Jim and I felt like it had to be a big secret, that we were struggling. But it doesn't, we are struggling with starting our family, but we won't always struggle, Lord willing. We have been given so much love and support over the last three months, I can't begin to say how much it means. Endless cards, texts, conversations, and hugs mean so much.

Every month when you find out you aren't going to be a mom..again..is heartbreaking. But nothing can equate to the pain of actually losing a child. I would have given ANYTHING to keep my little girl, Jim and I would give anything to be 21 weeks pregnant this week. Instead of in this perpetual state of limbo, of not knowing what the future holds. We know we will be parents, weather we get pregnant, or weather we adopt. But knowing doesn't heal the pain. Knowing the future holds your dreams doesn't make you forget the pain of the past or present.

Bad days are made better by the promises in the bible, out of the 8 stories of infertility in the bible, only one of them did not end happily. There is so much hope in that knowledge. God wants to give us the desires of our heart. And Jim and I desire so much to be parents. It may be one month before we are pregnant, or it may take us 2-3 years to adopt a child, but I'm going to be a mom eventually.

For now I'll steal the cute kids that make my heart smile, and know that someday I'll have one of my own!